Go get your free Dr. Pepper!

[Ruben]

First of all, I apologize for any grammar mistakes I may have.

Dear Citizens of the US that visit this Bulletin Board:

Don't miss the chance.

Let's talk about Guns N' Roses first. Their "Chinese Democracy" album is one of the most anticipated albums in music history. The album has been delayed LOTS of times since the mid 90's. Demos from the album have been leaking since 2001, lots of "official" release dates have been announced, and they all turned out to be FALSE. All of GN'R original members left the band, the only original member that's still part of it is the great Axl Rose. When people started wondering if Chinese Democracy would even be released at all, Dr. Pepper, the drink, released an statement saying that if Chinese Democracy was released in 2008, they would give away a can of drink to EVERYONE in America except to former guitarists Slash and Buckethead.

Well people, "Chinese Democracy" will be released tomorrow.

So, tomorrow, go to Dr. Pepper's website, print your ticket, and go get your can. And buy Chinese Democracy. I've heard it, it will blow your mind. It's the best rock album of 2008, possibly the best album of the year overall, and, why not?, best rock album in YEARS. It ROCKS. It has me hypnotized. And I know that a lot of people are hypnotized by it as well.

Unfortunately, I can't get my free Dr. Pepper... , but for those who CAN, don't miss the chance!

If you can, go get your CAN.

Lol



Ruben.

[cyberyukon]

So...if everyone requests their free can of Dr. Pepper the following will likely to take place. Pay attention:



1). The requests for free cans of soda will be so high that the Dr. Pepper company (the "Dr Pepper Snapple Group") will fall into financial ruin as their profit margin will suffer a staggering loss. Their stocks will certainly fall and the company will soon file for bankruptcy.

2). Because of the complex and competitive nature of the soft drink business, Coca-Cola, Inc. and Pepsi, Inc. will soon fall as well, prompting these "Big Three" to seek a windfall bailout from the feds in order to prevent the devastating collapse of the soft drink business.

3). The feds will look the other way, still too busy trying to use the 700 billion dollar gift to give criminal CEOs pay raises. Following months of massive layoff and restructuring the merger of multiple soft drink corporations will be seen as the only hope for salvation.

4). This, however, will fail as well and the resulting economic shockwaves will deal the death blow to the global economy. Like dominos, the largest and smallest of banking institutions will wink out around the globe as the social and cival infrastructure finally collapses and Planet Earth enters into its first world-wide "Dark Ages".



5). Unemployment will become the norm. Murder, robbery and plague will reach new heights. Cannibalism will replace Save-More. Buildings and freeways will crumble, technology will cease. Fissures will open up in the ground and volcanos and lava will pour forth. Mesocyclones of dark ash and smoke, the size of whole continents, will develop and eventually merge together to enshroud the globe in a dark, sweltering, drizzly sulfuric soup that will erradicate all life that hasn't relocated to the Arctic circle.

Or Detroit. Because...really... it's already like that there now and the people there are used to it.



6). And because no one is paying attention, Asteroid B612 will smash into the planet somewhere outside of Boise, Idaho and knock our big blue ball (now our big black ball) straight into the heart of the sun which, because of the instability, will suddenly swell up and go supernova, swallowing all of the planets in the solar system and releasing a blast of unexpected energy into the cosmos which, through the process of tricky cosmological physics, will cascade upwards with growing momentum and force and eventually cause the acceleration of the "Big Crunch" meaning that all matter everywhere in the universe will, in the span of nanoseconds, collapse back to a pin-point of infinite singularity where...

... it will remain...

....... for the rest

.............. of eternity.




So yeah.

Thanks, Axle.



(lol)